Los Angeles-  After a month on the East Coast, I am back in L.A.  Last weekend I saw Jackie Martling perform three soldout shows at the New York Comedy Club ib Boca Raton, Florida.  Jackie and I spoke at length about things, and I mentioned th him that I thought it would be great if he came back to the show.  By the time you all read this, you will probably hear some stuff about Jackie that I am not at liberty to disclose.  I  was in NY  for the last show on Dec. 16.  The party at the Hard Rock was incredible.

Thanks to Will and Jason for taking care of me.  Cheryl Crowe was fantastic.

 

I  also had the pleasure of hanging out with Bob Levy, Sal, and Dan the Song Parody Man.  Levy is one of the best standup comics in  the business, and I love to watch him work.  Sal is a brilliant comic and a great addition to the show.

 

I wish Sean a speedy recovery.  Howard, you should hire Jackie Martling and Melrose Larry Green.

 

Melrose Larry Green

melrose1@earthlink.net 

One thing about me is my respect for the truth.  I once was a regular on the Howard Stern show.  I once toured with the likes of Stuttering John, Artie Lang, and Jim Florentine.  I will never forget my days on the Howard Stern show, but nothing stays the same.  I am grateful for the airtime thatr Howard gave me, but I am accountable to a higher authority- that is  God!

 

Jealousy is a negative emotion.  It doesn't matter at this point who poisoned me in the eyes of Howard, but these 2 Judas Ecariots know who they are.  Howard and Robin will always be #1` in my book, along with Artie Lang.  But I am 100% behind George Bush and his war against Islamic Fundamentalism.

 

Now I am devoting my life to God and to spreading the truth

 

As we pray for the Pope, I quote the Serenity Prayer:  "God,  grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.  God's will not mine be done."

 

Bill and Hillary Clinton are accountable to a higher authority than the U.S. courts.

Melrose

---

Dear Howard,

 

It is no secret that I have always admired you and your work.  Unfortunately, since day one your producer has never liked me.  Wherever possible, Dell'Abate went out of his way to f-with me, to humiliate me, to discredit any of my work, and to alienate me in your eyes.  Finally, after 10 years, he and asshole Stuttering John could agree on one thing- we have to get rid of Melrose Larry Green.  Anyone who knows me knows that I was a devoted and loyal listener and fan of the show for years.  Many people have enriched themselves using your name, Howard.   Gary, Stuttering John,. Beetlejuice- to name just a few.

 

Trust me, Howard- no one was ever a  bigger supporter of  you than me.  But, frankly, the schmucks that surround me won over.  Now, they have no more Melrose to kick around anymore.  Meanwhile, Howard, my life has never been better.  I never forget a thing in my life.  If you don't want me on your show, I will go where I am wanted.

 

Just remember  who your true friends are.

 

Melrose Larry Green

The vendetta against Howard Stern is insane.  First we have the hysteria in Congress over "indecency."  It should not be the role of the government to legislate personal morality.  I remember the thousands of Howard Stern fans who went to the booksignings in Philly, NYC, LA,  and San Francisco a few years ago.  I remember the crowds who flocked to Howard's movie "Private Parts."   But what has happened in recent months?  Where is the outrage from the fans.  It is time for Melrose Larry Green to get involved, and involved I will be.

 

Congress should worry about crime, homelessness, gangs, jobs, and ending the war in Iraq.  No one ever died from listening to Howard Stern or looking at Janet Jackson's bare nipple!

It is time for Howard stern fans to unite and show your clout in Washington!  Now you might ask: what can I do?  Believe me, you can do a lot.  If you E-mail me at melrose1@earthlink.net, I can give you the name and number of your Senator and Congressman.  Nothing scares an elected official more than a disgruntled constituent!

 

And now his latest nonsense about an SEC investigation and allegations of insider trading with respect to Sirius stock.  To me, this is just a publicity ploy by a desperate Chauncey Hayden, who will do anything to keep his name in the papers.  I ask all Howard Stern fans to show your support for Howard.  One thing I know about Howard is his impeccable honesty

and his love for the truth.

 

I urge all of you to get involved.  If we don't stop this madness, the government will continue to run your life.  Next, they will take your favorite adult enertainment. - wait and see.

Call your Congressmen and Senators.  If they voted to increase the FCC fines, you must work to assure their defeat in the next election!

 

I welcome your comments and I urge all related Stern websites to pick up this article.

 

Thank you

 

Melrose Larry Green

Los Angeles, CA     2-22-05

melrose1@earthlink.net

What happened to Jacke Martling, Stuttering John and KC?  Why are they not on the Howard Stern show anymore?  Could it be because of the tolerance for free speech of the powers that be?  I feel sorry for the people that did what they did to me.  In fact, I will never forgive the two people that sabtoaged my career on the show.  They know who they are, but if I mentioned their names, it would do me serious harm.

 

As I contemplate the meaning of it all, I fondly remember my halcyon days as Melrose Larry Green.  It's amazing how the phone that used to ring off the wall never rings anymore.  Ratso, who glommed all those fancy meals from me- is as bad as the others.    But I will never forget my 2 best friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin for the past four years.

 

Let me assure all of you- what goes around comes around.  I must be a little vague in this update, because the total truth is yet to be told.  But getting back to Jackie Martling, Stuttering John and KC.  What happened to them?  The same thing that happened to Melrose Larry Green!

 

My 2 best friends- thank you thank you thank you!

 

Melrose Larry Green

I realize I haven't updated the site for a while.  I have been busy promoting my book "Why the Clintons Belong in Prison."  Everyone wants me to say something negative , but I won't do it. 

My life has never been better.  I gave lots of free promotion to the Howard Stern show, and I have no regrets about anything.  Show business is a dirty business, but I have what it takes to survive.  Howard Stern and Robin Quivers have known me since 1992, and they both know how devoted Iwas to the show.

 

Over the years, other characters have done their best to poison me in the eyes of Howard and Robin.    It will not work.  Nothing stops Melrose Larry Green.  It is not George Bush who caused Howard problems with the FCC- rather it was Senator McCain and his buddy Don Imus.  In fact, Bush is a fan of the show.  I tried calling in with that tidbit, but it never made the air.

 

I wish everyone the best- but I will go on with my life.  The threat of Islamic Fundamentalism is America's greatest threat, and I am 100% a supporter of Bush and his administration.  In fact, anyone who has an open mind can see that America is safer now than ever before.

 

Melrose Larry Green

At the rally in support of Howard Stern in L.A., there were close to 1000 people present in
front of the Federal Building in Westwood.  Sam Simon was there, along with Jay Leno and Arnold
Schwarzenegger lookalikes.

My book, "Why the Clintons Belong in Prison" will be out next month.  Order your advance copy by
sending your check for $12.95 to Melrose Larry Green, P.O.B. 381214, LA, CA  90038.  There will
be book signings all over the country once the book is out.

I totally support this President, and I will definitely be voting for him in November.

 

 

 

Melrose Larry Green

 

 

 

 

Melrose Larry Green

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Los Angeles, CA-  July 23- It is amazing to me how ungrateful some
people are in this world.  Show business has a very dark side to it. 
Jealousies and ego are all over the place.  But let me make one thing
perfectly clear.  No one ever worked harder- for free- for Howard Stern-
than I did.  In fact,  no one ever was more devoted to a radio DJ than I
was to Howard Stern.

Artie Lang himself often has told me how he used to see me every morning
for years at thecorner of Melrose and Highland-  years before he ever
joined the Howard Stern show.

I will be thoroughly vindicated.  Do you all remember the fiasco in Las
Vegas,  when this goon Joey Boots accused me of grabbing his nutsack?
Did you ever hear my side of the story on the air?  Did you know that
Joey Boots made the whole story up?  Gary Dell'Abate viewed the video
tape and saw that Joey Boots atacked me;  I was just standing there
minding my business.  There is nothing worse than being accused of
something you didn't do.

My book on the Clintons is coming along well.  I am making progress;  it
should be out before this year's Election Day.  I am convinced that the
CLintons belong in prison, and they lnow all about lots of strange
suicides and homicides.  Hope to hear from you concerning my banning
from the Howard Stern show.

Melrose Larry Green
melrose1@earthlink.net.

It is no secret that several of the people on the Howard Stern show do
not like me.  They know who they are, and they have succeeded in having
me banned from the show.  Howard has always liked me, and that is what
kills my enemies.  My enemies know who they are, and I don't have to
name them.  Anyway, I have been kept off the show by these people.  I
wanted to get on the air to discuss the strange number of suicides and
homicides surrounding people who either worked for or were associated
with the Clintons.

To my enemies who have kept me off the show, it will not work. Whenever
I decide to pick up the phone and call Howard, I can get back on.  No
one can stop Melrose Larry Green.  Only I am Melrose Larry Green. To my
enemies who tell me to call 1-800-44-Stern, I tell you I am the best   
guest on the Howard Stern show!

My enemies are the users of Howard Stern.  My enemies will be sorry,
when they need a favor from me.

Meanwhile, I am hard at work on my book on the Clintons.

Thanks to Larry Nichols for this list of dead people connected with Bill
Clinton.

James McDougal- Clinton's convicted Whitewater partner died of an
apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement.  He was a key
witness in Ken Starr's investigation.

Mary Mahoney-  A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a
Starbuck's coffee shop in Georgetown.  The murder happened just after
she was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White
House.

Ron Brown- Secretary of Commerce and former DNC Chairman-  People think
he died in a plane crash in Dubrovnik, Yugoslavia in April, 1996.  Yet a
pathologist close to the investigation reported that there was a hole in
the top of Brown's skull resembling a gunshot wound.  At the time of his
death, Brown was being investigated by independent counsel's office, he
felt as if he were being followed, and he spoke willingly of his
willingness to cut a deal with prosecutors.

Staff Sgt. Kelley on Ron Brown's plane was alive for four hours and
walked to rescue helicopter on her own steam.  Eventually, she was
pronounced dead of severed brain stem!

C. Victor Raiser II & Montgomery-  Major players in the Clinton
fund-raising organization died n a plane crash in July 1992.

Paul Tulley-  DNC Political Director found dead in a hotel room in
Little Rock, Sept. 1992.  Described by Clinton as a "Dear friend and
trusted advisor."

Ed Willey- Husband of Kathleen  Willey, who complained of being groped
by Bill Clinton, found dead November 1993 deep in the woods of Virginia
of a gunshot wound to the head.  Ed  Willey was involved in several
fund-raising events.

Jerry Parks-  Head of Clinton's gubernatorial security team in Little
Rock.  Gunned down in his car at a deserted intersection outside Little
Rock.  Park's son said his father was building a dossier on Clinton.  He
allegedly threatened to reveal this information.  After he died the
files were mysteriously removed from his house.

James Bunch-  Died from a gunshot suicide.  It was reported that he had
a "Black Book"  of people containing names of influential people who
visited prostitutes in Texas and Arkansas.

James Wlson-  Was found dead in May 1993 from an apparent hanging
suicide.  He was reported to have ties to Whitewater.

Barbara Wise-  Commerce Dept. staffer.  Worked closely with Ron Brown
and John Huang.  cause of death unknown.  Died Nov. 29 1996.  Her
bruised body (nude), was found locked in her office at the Dept. of
Commerce.

Charles Meissner-  Asst. Secretary of Commerce who gave John Huang
special security clearance died shortly thereafter in a small plane
crash.

Dr. Stanley Heard-  Chairman of the National Chiropractic Health Care
Advisory Committee died with his attorney Steve Dickson in a small plane
crash.  Dr. Heard, in addition to serving on Clinton's advisory council,
personally treated Clinton's mother, stepfather, and brother.

Barry Seal-  Drug running pilot out of Mena, Arkansas. Death was no
accident.

Johnny Lawhorn Jr.-  Mechanic, found a check made out to the Clintons in
the trunk of a car left in his repair shop.  Died when his car hita
utility pole.

Stanley Huggins-  Suicide.  Investigated Madisn Guarantee.  His report
was never released.

Hershell Friday-  Attorney and Clinton fund raiser died March 1, 1994
when his plane exploded.

Kevin Ives & Don Henry-   Known as "The Boys on the track" case. 
Reports say the boys may have stumbled upon the Mena Arkansas airport
drug operation.  Controversial case where initial report of death was
due to falling asleep on railroad track.  Later reports claim the 2 boys
had been slain before being placed on the tracks.  Many linked to the
case died before their testimony could come before a Grand Jury.

The following 6 persons had information on the Ives/Henry Case:

Keith Coney-  Died when his motorcycleslammed into the back of a truck 
July 1988

Keith McMaskle-  Died stabbed 113 times, Nov. 1988

Kathy Ferguson-  Ex-wife of Arkansas trooper Danny Ferguson died in May
1994 was found dead in her living room witha gunshot wound to her head.
It was ruled a suicide even though there were several packed suitcases,
as if she was going somewhere.  Danny Ferguson was a co-defendant along
with Bill Clinton in the Paula Jones lawsuit.  Kathy Fergusson was a
possible corroborating witness for Paula Jones.

Bill Shelton-  Arkansas State Trooper and fiancee of Kathy Ferguson- 
Critical of the suicide ruling of his fiancee, he was found dead at the
gravesite of his fiancee in June 1994.  Cause of death- gunshot wound-
ruled a suicide!

Gandy Baugh-  Attorney for Clinton friend Dan Lassater (convicted
cocaine trafficker) died by jumping out of a window in January 1994.

Florence Martin-  Accountant subcontractor for the CIA related to the
Barry Seal Mena airport drug smuggling case.  Died of three gunshot
wounds.

Suzanne Coleman-  Had an affair with Clinton when he was Arkansas
Attorney General.  Died of a gunshot wound to the back of the head.  She
was pregnant at the time of her death, quite possibly with Bill
Clinton's baby!  You guess it folks,     another suicide!

Danny Casolaro-  Investigative reporter, who investigated Mena Airport
and Arkansas Development Finance Authority.  Another suicide!


Paul Wilcher-  Attorney investigating corruption at Mena Airport with
Danny Casolaro.  Found dead on a toilet June 22, 1993, in his DC
apartment.  He had delivered a report to Janet Reno 3 weeks before his
death.

Jon Parnell Walker-  Whitewater investigator for Resolution Trust Corp.
Jumped to his death from his Arlington, VA apartment balcony August 15,
1993.  Was investigating Morgan Guarantee scandal.


Gregory Collins-  Died from a gunshot wound January 1989


Jeff Rhodes-  Shot, mutilated and found burned in a trash dump in April.
1989.

James Milan-  Decapitated.  Coroner ruled death natural causes.!

Jordan Kettleson-  Found shot to death in the front seat of his pickup
truck in June 1990.

Richard Winters-  Suspect in the Ives/Henry dearths.  Killed in a setup
robbery July 1989.

And        many more!

I call on President Bush and Attorney General Ashcroft to involve the
DOJ and FBI in investigating these many mysterious deaths.  In each and
every case, I call on the FBI, DOJ, and special counsel to see what role
Bill Clinton and Hillary Clintonpalyed in the deaths of these people. 
If they are innocent, let their names be cleared.

But I feel it is too weird  that all these people should have committed
suicides and jumped out of buildings.  I have never heard of anything
like this.  Why hasn't ABC,NBC,CBS,CNN, etc. picked up on this?

And people call George Bush a murderer!  This guy Clinton has left more
bodies in his wake than any Mafioso!

Melrose Larry Green

First, let me say that for the past several weeks, I have been hard at
work writing a book about Bill and Hillary Clinton.  It is my opinion
that Bill Clinton is one of the sleaziest, dirtiest characters in
American political history.  My book, which will be out this fall, will
not be a fluff piece.  Rather, it will explore the many mysterious
deaths of Clinton cronies, cabinet members, and others who wrongly
crossed the paths of Bill and Hillary Clinton.

I have sources from Arkansas who have known the Clintons for 30 years. 
I will reveal shocking, new information in my book.  Is it possible that
Chelsea Clinton's natural father is not Bill Clinton?  In my book, I
will reveal the name of the true father of Chelsea, and you all know his
name!

I will discuss the pardons, when Clinton set murderers, drug dealers,
tax evaders, and con men free.  And the hundreds of thousands of dollars
that changed hands in return for getting a pardon.  Bribes were
commonplace in the Clinton White House.

I'll tell you how Clinton weakened our military, how he missed several
clear opportunites to eliminate Osama Bin Laden, and lots of other juicy
information.

Bill and Hillary Clinton both belong in prison for life.  The deaths of
Ron Brown and Vince Foster alone should send them away for life.  In my
book, I will be naming names, and I will tell you why Attorney General
John Ashcroft is afraid of investigating the Clintons!

As many of you know, I write for Newsmax.com.  This is the same website
that Bill O'Reilly, David Limbaugh, Carl Limbacher, David Limbaugh,a nd
Mancow write for.  I ran into Bill O'Reilly and Mancow at the Book Expo
in Los Angeles.  Mancow gave me a great interview, in which he had great
things to say about Howard Stern.

Two days later, while I was on hold with the Stern Show, MAncow called
me on the other line.  It was 5 a.m. LA Time, and I went on the air with
him.  We discussed his new book, newsmax.com, and other stuff unrelated
to Stern.

I have nothing to apolgize for.  I have been a guest on Larry Elder's
nationally syndicated show, on Doug McIntyre's Show, on Joe Crummery
Show, and many others.

I never worked for the Howard Stern show, and I was never on the
payroll.  It is my goal to work for the Fox News Channel.  I think Sean
Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and Brit Hume are geniuses.  I am presently in
discussions with Fox News Channel!

And by the way, Gary Dell'Abate finally viewed the videotape from Las
Vegas, and it showed that Joey Boots made up all that crap about my
grabbing his nutsack.  Seems that Joey Boots started the whole thing,
and I was totally innocent!  It would be nice if someone from the Howard
Stern show issued me an apology.  I never signed a release to be on E!
for that show, and I should really sue Joey Boots for slander and libel!

Melrose Larry Green is alive and well in Los Angeles.

I gave my heart and soul to the Howard Stern show from 1992 to 2003. 
Never have I made money off the show by profiting off of Howard's name.
The fact of the matter is that I have been writing for Newsmax.com for
the past six months, and that is my right.  I have many contacts in this
world, and I have college degrees from Brandeis and Cornell
Universities.

I don't have to defend myself against anyone about what radio or TV
shows I do.  I have never said a bad word about Howard Stern to anyone.

Presently, I am hard at work on my second book- this one is an expose of
the Clintons, and I will be promoting the book of radio and TV stations
throughout the country.  This book is a lot of work.  When I write a
book, I write every word!

Last week I spoke to Gary Dell'Abate, and he agreed that Joey Boots is a
total liar.  He saw the video from Las Vegas, which proves what I ahve
been saying all along.  Joey Boots hit me first and I never grabbed his
nutsack.  Ronnie the Limo driver owes me an apology for throwing me out
of the Hard Rock!

I have to get back to work on my book.  This book will have shocking
revelations about the Clintons!  For example, my sources in Arkansas
tell me that Chelsea Clinton is not Bill Clinton's child.  I name the
real father in my book.  His initials are W.H.!

Melrose Larry Green

I am thrilled to be writing for Newsmax.com, the website which tells the
truth about slime like Bill and Hillary Clinton.  Actually, I have been
writing for Newsmax for several months now, and I happen to be a
Republican and major supporter of the Bush administration.

In future months, I will be concentrating on my writing career, and I
hope to appear on Fox News Channel.  Presently I am talking to various
key people.

I will not say anything negative about anyone at the Howard Stern show.
Sorry, but that is not my style. Howard has always been cool to me;  he
has had me on the show for the past 11 years.

In my opinion, Bill Clinton should be in prison.  He has conned the
American people  since day one.  Everyone should read my recent article
on the Clintons on Newsmax.com.  I recommend the following books: 
"Strange Death of Vince Foster" by Chris Ruddy, "Crimes and
Misdemeanors"  by Anne Coulter, and "Dereliction of Duty", by Buzz
Patterson.  He is a retired Lt. Col. of USAF, who worked as a military
aide to Clinton in the White House.

How could the idiots in NY elect that scumbag Hillary Clinton?  In a lot
of ways, she is the most evil woman in American politics.  I am
organizing a boycott of her book.

Melrose Larry Green

A lot of people ask me the same questions over and over again.
1.  Melrose, how come everyone hates you?

Actually, many people are very jealous of me.  One person who has always
been nice to me is Howard Stern.  The person to put me in the intro. to
the E! show was Howard Stern. The guy who made me famous is Howard
Stern.  The guy who took me off the streets and into the studio is
Howard Stern.  I sincerely believe that Gary likes me, but he fails to
recognize my talent and contributions to the show.  Ronnie the Limo
driver is insanely jealous of me.  Stuttering John is my best friend
from the show.  Artie, Fred , and Robin have always been cool to me.  I
know that K.C. and Benjie have been fans of mine since their days as
interns.  Many of the fans don't like me, because I am Melrose Larry
Green, and they are not.

2.  What are you working on now?

I am developing a one-man Melrose Larry Green show.  Thr show consists
of two parts- (1) a standup comedy portion and (2) a musical portion,
during which I sing and accompany myself on the piano.  I am putting
together a Melrose Larry Green rock band.  Any musicians that wat to
audition for the Melrose Larry Green band should contact me at
melrose1@earthlink.net.

3.  How come you don't tape stuff for the show anymore?

Howard has a TIVO intern who tapes everything.  That's fine, because it
was a lot of work for me to tape everything and go through stuff.  Of
course, it just showed me how I contributed to the show.  I know I can
do it all.  Howard often has said he should hire Melrose Larry Green. 
In fact, he should hire me.  I can do it all, and Howard knows that. 
Stay tuned for more details.

4.  Are you really a millionaire?

Yes


5.  Do you have a girlfriend?

Women have never been a problem for me, even going back to my Brandeis
and Cornell days when I was Larry Greenblatt.  I love women and they
love me.


6.Do you really work out?

Yes, I am in the gym (either at Crunch or my home gym) every day, for at
least an hour/day.  Those of you who live in L.A. know that I run daily-
usually about 6 miles/day/  Typically, I run along Melrose to Crescent
Heights, up to Sunset and  then back home again.

7.  Will you be touring with Stuttering John this year?

Yes- I performed with John at the Hard Rock in Vegas, and I will be
performing with him in Ft. Lauderdale in late June.  John and I speak
regularly and I really want to be part of his comedy tour.  Working with
John, Artie, Jim Florentine, and Modie has been great.

8.  Have you cleaned up your apartment?

Yes, but it is still quite cluttered.  I have thousands of books-  I am
an avid reader.  Presently I am reading about 15 difrerent books!

9. What happened in Vegas with Joey Boots?


He made up everything.  I never grabbed his nutsack.  Actually he
grabbed my nutsack first.  Have my nutsack call your nutsack and we'll
do lunch.

10.  How much do you weigh?

165

In some ways, I feel sorry for Joey Boots.  He suffers from a severe
mental disability, and he is not all there.  When I was in Las Vegas
last week, he started everything.  I never grabbed his privates.  I
never even touched him at first.  Joey Boots knocked off my Laker cap,
Joey Boots tore up one of my signs, and then he hit me twice.  ALL OF
THIS WAS HIS DOING!  

Naturally, I defended myself from this attack and I did manage to get in
a few blows of self-defense, before Nicole Bass intervened.  And K.C.
and Ronnie the Limo Driver had ME thrown out of the casino!  Why didn't
I get an opportunity to state my side of what happened?  How dare I get
thrown out when it was Joey Boots who started the whole thing.

I demand an apology from Ronnie Mund.  Video of the entire incident
exists, and it will prove that Joey Boots started the whole thing.
Folks, Joey Boots weighs about 350 lbs;  Nicole Bass is stronger than
Mike Tyson.  I am 165 pounds of lean Jewish muscle!

This guy Boots was desperate for airtime.  If I ever touches me again, I
will again exercise my rights of self-defense.

When Howard sees the videotape, Melrose Larry Green will be totally
vindicated.

That is all I have to say about the matter.

Melrose Larry Green

March   26-  Last month, when I had a ton of appearances on the show
with lots of really good tape, Howard praised me, saying "I should
really hire Melrose Larry Green... he tapes everything."   In fact,
Howard has always been good to me.  He got me to appear in the opening
of the E! show video, he personally got me into the Private Parts
Premeiere.  For many years, I have wanted to work for the show, as a
paid employee.

Do any of you know what a Catch-22 is?  Well, here comes one.  I can't
complain about any staff member of the show, because if I do I will be
banned from the show.  Anytime you don't hear me on the show, it's
because someone is angry at me.  Meanwhile, I am living out here in Los
Angeles, minding my own business.  Well, here goes....

I can do any job on the show.  Those of you who live in L.A. remember my
late-night talk show back in 2000, which regularly beat KFI and KLSX in
the ratings.  Did you know that before Gary Garver was hired by the
show, I interviewed hundreds of celebrities.  Just ask Scott Einziger,
the former E! shoe executive producer, how many videotapes I sent him
over the years!

I think that Howard should know what a difficult position I am in.  Of
course I would love to work for the show.  But let me make it perfectly
clear:  I am  totally normal.  I have never been medicated, never had
any psychiatric care.  It's just a brilliant act!  That's right! 
Melrose Larry Green is totally normal.

Some people are threatened by me.  Not Howard.  Not Robin.  Not Robin.
Not Artie.  And not Fred.  I leave the math to you.

To those who think they can keep me down, we'll see who survives in the
long run.  No one can ever keep me down.  To all my fans, people like
White Rapper, Mike Goldberger, and DW,  I thank you for your friendship.
You never hear Bigfoot, Crackhead Bob, Kenneth Keith, Elephant Boy, or
Big Black, but -like a guerrilla fighter-  Melrose Larry Green always
resurfaces.

Everyone in LA knows how hard I have worked to promote the show, over
the past 11 years.  Most important, Howard Stern appreciates my work
and  contributions.  I know that I am one of the most popular characters
on the show. Artie Lange likes me- we have talked many times over the
last few months!

I am a survivor.  When Howard saw my comedy act-  I stress the word 
"act"  in  Atlantic City last May, he told me how much he enjoyed my
act.

Howard- you are  a genius.  Why do you think I taped all those programs
for the last year?  Of course I want to work for the show!
You have always been great to me, and I am ready to start work.  How
they could not hire me is beyond me!


Melrose Larry Green
LA,CA