Don't sell yourself short. Yes, your last two appearances on the 
show were excellent. But your appearances, in my opinion, have always been 
very entertaining.
Your letter to Howard is, if anything, too kind. I would have been outraged 
to be disrespected like this. In all fairness to Howard I guess he didn't 
have a say so on the guest list. But not inviting you and Captain Janks I 
feel was a major oversite on Gary's part. I heard Janks kissing Howard's ass 
so hard on the air the other day it had to hurt. I believe I also heard a few 
shots takin at you about your appearances on other shows. I commend Janks for 
being able to get in to make the phony phonecalls, but once he does he always 
seems to drop the ball. His calls hardly ever make me laugh. Ponce is another 
story. I will never forget his O.J. call as long as I live. My wife and I 
were watching and saw that live. We still laugh when we think of it. Tell him 
we need more of his genius desperately. Janks is a douchebag. Don't you think?
        The other reason I'm writing you Melrose is that I read in Dan 
Wagner's book
"Getting to Howard " that you rent two pornos a day sometimes. I have been 
trying to find the answer to a porno trivia question for months now. I have 
searched the internet. I have even e-mailed Sunshine Films, the distributor 
of the movie in question with no response. This may not be your field of 
expertise the way Mr. Wagner portrays you in his book but if you could 
entertain this question or at least let me know where to look for the answer 
I would appreciate it. 
     There was a movie distributed in 1998 by Sunshine Films called Mrs. 
Buttfire. It was made in October of 1995 by 4 actresses and one actor. 
Kimberly Kummings, Dakota Trish, Jesse or Candy Lang and April Diamond. The 
name of the actor is not on the box nor in the credits. I really enjoy this 
movie and want to know who the man is and if he made any other movies. It is 
an awesome movie if I may recommend it to you. With a home cam he films, 
performs, and directs all at the same time. I think it is hiliarious the way 
he man-handles them with his 10 " schlong.  I even sent a copy of Mrs. 
Buttfire to Howard hoping he would obsess on it and I'd have my answer. I 
"prescribed" it to him to watch it eveyday so he could learn how REAL men 
treat women. Porno-therapy if you will. I send it to him back in December 
while he was still licking his wounds from his separation. Too mean? Who 
cares. 
     We don't get Mancow here in Pittsburgh. Is Dice on his show alot? I saw 
him years ago in Pittsburgh. I love that guy. I wish he was on Howard again. 
Has he, do you know, being an old friend, called or wrote Howard since the 
news of the separation ? 
         Hang in there Melrose. I know the disrespect they show you can get 
you down. I think they think it is all schtick. That that is what their 
audience wants. I disagree. Let's hope that they appreciate you more after 
this latest riff. And to hell with them if they don't. You don't need their 
shit. 
           Speaking of "Getting to Howard.",  I e-mailed Dan Wagner today to 
see if he made it to the birthday party. His book at the end was all about 
getting to Howard's 98 party. I was curious if he got an invite this year. He 
didn't answer that question but he did  e-mail me back. He seems very down, 
as you, about the whole Stern experience. He told me he is going to take a 
break from even listening to the show. He is considering quiting his web 
site, and thinks that you and Janks are wasting your time. Maybe he is having 
a bad hair day, today. I don't now. Are you guys friends at all ? I know you 
had some problems in the past. You may want to give him a call. Poor guy 
needs a pep talk, I think, more than you do. Anyway I think I've wasted 
enough of your time. Good luck to you. I'm sure this will all smooth over in 
time and you'll be back to making me howl in the mornings before too long. 
Please respond. I e-mailed Jackie for a catalog. Weeks later I'm still 
waiting. 
Talk about a unfunny guy. F-Jackie.
Thanks Melrose,
 

Sante

PS: One final note: I don't remember seeing you on any of the Saturday night 
shows.
I taped them all. Were you on any of them ? Did I miss you ? Who else was on 
if you were?  Or are they Jacking you off again ? 
PSS: F-Gary Garver. Talk about mean-spirited. 

Ed

How screwed in the head are you to honestly think Howard ows you anything. 
Being on his show wasn't owed to you, it was a privalige.  He, by having you 
on his show, helped you out.  You, on the other hand did not.  All you have 
done now is bitten the hand that feeds you.  You need stern, he DOESN'T NEED 
YOU!!!! Don't forget that.
       Sincerily, Mikey
 

YOUR a cool dude LARRY..I read your mail on your site..the open letter to 
howard and i think you shouldve been included on the party list..im a huge 
fan Larry....KO 

Melrose,
 I run Gregpix Daily Links.. we get about 200,000 hits a day. I have an 
interview lined up with Colt .40 Feinberg and i was wondering if you would 
like to do the same. Just some questions in email you can answer and send 
back.

 I'll link up your site in exchange... I met you in '96 at Howard's book 
signing on Long Island and i saw you at a Yankee game last summer running 
around with a sign. I dont think you should have been banned from the show 
either.

Let me know if you're interested 

thanks,
Greg

  I haven't heard the show in weeks cause I was on vacation.  I was surfing 
the web to only find out you were banned from the show.  You were a great 
"inside" of the Hollywood scene.  I always enjoyed you on the show because, I 
knew you were going to tell me some new and fresh about Hollywood.  Sorry to 
the hear about the banning but I know you'll be back.  F Gary!

Grant