Until things stabilize in Dallas, I want the fans in Dallas to have some idea of what they are missing. So periodically, I will be reporting on what transpired during the show.

Wednesday 9/3/97

Howard talks about the reaction in Montreal to his show. Corey Feldman calls in about all the controversy regarding the papparazzi. Joan Rivers comes in. Members of Stone Temple Pilots, without Scott Weiland, come in. Robin has hired a behaviorist for her cats.

Tuesday 9/2/97

Howard debuts in Montreal and Toronto. Howard talks about the death of Princess Diana. Captn' Janks phony phone call about Princess Diana. The Spice Girls come in. Robin saved a person's life during her vacation. Robin broke up with her boyfriend.

August 18 - September 1, 1997

Show on Vacation. Best of...

Friday 8/15/97

Hank the Drunken Dwarf comes in. He argues with other dwarfs on the phone. Guy with really high voice comes in. Newark, Ohio guy who killed a gay guy calls in again. This time sober and sounding scared. Melrose Larry Green calls in from rally in Dallas. Riley the alien abductee comes in. Woman from Dallas complains about Melrose at the rally.

Thursday 8/14/97

FBI has contacted Howard about the guy yesterday, who claimed to have killed many prostitutes. Grandpa Al Lewis calls in. He will soon be appearing at a nudist colony. Flip Wilson comes in. He exposes his genitals and has Robin Radzinsky pump up his penile implant. Don King comes in. He’s evasive about the Tyson ear biting incident. Al Michaels calls in. He tells story about Ray Liotta denying ever being on the Stern Show, even though he has. Crackhead Bob has a Heavy Metal single out. He sits in during the news.

Wednesday 8/13/97

Author of “How To Dump Your Wife” comes in. Fat Al Rosenberg comes in and does his Ed McMahon impersonation. Guy who claims to have killed prostitutes calls in. Howard finds out that the E! Crew has to attend a sexual harrassment seminar. He discusses how the rules for sexual harrassment have gone to far. Guy who claims to know the pharmacy records of many celebrities calls in. He even knows that Robin recently applied for a diaphram.

Tuesday 8/12/97

Howard reads report about Grillo’s bad work habits at “Grandma Silvia’s Funeral” Elaina Beasty comes in to perform infantalism on Grillo & Nick the intern. Neither can “soil” their diapers. Kevin Bacon game creators come in, and one gets into the diaper and is successful in urinating in it. Elaina then proceeds to change him. Amy Lynn comes in for the news.

Monday 8/11/97

On today's show, a band desperate for airtime, drank toilet water that had been saturated with Howard's soiled 3 day-old underpants. The gang discussed the big birthday party for Robin over at Jackie's house on Long Island. Howard took lots of phone calls, including one from none other than Melrose Larry Green.

Friday 8/8/97

Bernadette Peter’s Husband calls in. Dallas stripper comes in. Nick the intern begs to go to the Scores party, and reveals that he is a virgin. Robin’s birthday. Donna D’erico comes in. Playboy lingerie model comes in to play the Mike Walker game. Howard talks about the Garth Brooks Concert in Central Park. Back to Back comparison between Jackie’s music and Garth’s.

Thursday 8/7/97

Gary gets massages from guys. Dutch reporter comes in to discuss the release of “Private Parts” in her country. Caller admits to murdering someone. John interviews David Dinkins and Al Sharpton. Reports from the Garth Brooks Concert. Howard asks the rubes at the concert to leave. Gary MC’s the “Cop Land” premiere. David Spade calls in.

Wednesday 8/6/97

Howard is #1 in Columbus. Howard announces that he will soon be heard in Montreal. Chevy Chase mystery record. Robin Radzinsky’s romantic tryst in Greece. Gary sings “Use My Hand.” Captain Janks song parody about Gary. Roger Ebert’s review of Howard’s “Private Parts” video. Woman who says you can lose weight by proper breathing techniques. Mental patient, who is going to be thrown out of the hospital because he listens to Stern, calls in. Howard talks to doctor who has revolutionary way to remove body hair.

Tuesday 8/5/97

More Homeless game. Dickey Goodman meets Marv Albert bit. Dickey Goodman’s son calls in. More about Gary’s molestation. Adam the slow kid’s story about being molested. DJ Raz’s story about being molested. Intern interviews with Chinese people about whether or not they eat cats and dogs. Guy who wrote a book on how to keep your marriage fresh. Grillo’s inability to spell on lotus notes.

Monday 8/4/97

Stuttering John at a movie premiere. Woman who just had her first lesbian experience with her step aunt calls in. Woman whose husband went to hell and came back to talk about it calls in. Gary reveals that he once gave a guy hand jobs for treats. Robin reveals that she rented a porno to learn how to give head.

Friday 8/1/97 -

On Friday, as usual, there was the Mike Walker game. The homeless game has become quite popular. Yesterday (Mon. Aug. 4), Gary revealed that he had been molested as a 6 year-old. On at least 4 or 5 occasions, he had been forced into providing sexual gratification (by hand, thank God) to someone 10 years older than he. Robin revealed that she went to video stores to view videos, in order to learn how to give oral sex.

Thursday 7/31/97-

Howard inquired as to the truth of the rumor that Henry Hill was dead. Howard discussed Marv Albert in great detail. The show featured a review by some guy named "the nude movie reviewer." Capt. Janks, Elephant Boy, Kenneth Keith Kallenbach, and Crackhead Bob dropped by to plug their gig in Cleveland this weekend. there was an interns' beauty pageant, complete with musical numbers by Howard, Robin, and Gary. At one point in the show a DJ from Finland called in- he wanted pointers from Howard. During the news Howard loudly condemned the suicide bombing in Israel and called for sharp retaliation against the terrorists.

Wednesday 7/30/97-

Self hating black woman calls in. More reports about Tom Barnard falling apart. Howard speaks to religious wacko who wrote a letter to him from Michigan. Ponce de la Phone Phoney phone calls. Gange is getting in trouble during his jury duty. Howard has a stripper come down and take her clothes off for Adam the slow listener. Sugar Ray comes in and plays “Fly”. Cunanan’s ex lover calls in. Guy calls in to explain Scientology nonsense. Guy calls in and accuses Amy Lynn of badmouthing Howard.

July 29th, 1997-

Howard started out the show by putting on a stripper from Dallas who had to call back after first calling in on one of those awful mobile phones. Howard said she sounded like "Lucy." The girl sounded a lot worse than she looked in the picture. Howard talked about his picture in the Star Magazine, and then asked Robin how she would rank Howard on a scale of 1 to 10. Robin said Howard was a 7, Jackie was a 6, and Fred was a 5 or 6.

Robin told Howard that she liked thin lanky men. Robin said that Howard's worst feature was his butt. Howard then proceeded to show off his newly-worked-out backside to the E! cameras. Mary the stripper uses the name "Lexus". Mary the stripper revealed that she was into sex and in love with Howard. Frankly I find these segments with the girl strippers to be a bit redundant. Mary expressed interest in seeing Score's, the famous topless club in New York.

Howard talked about how Ralph came over to his house yesterday. I kept waiting to see if Howard was going to talk about Dallas, but as of 6:45, most of the conversation centered around the striper. She revealed that she was a biology major at Texas A&M and would be stripping for another 2 years.

In LA, we get the show live at 3 a.m. PST. Today I woke up at 4:45 a.m., so I heard Young MC on the live show and had to listen to the stripper on the replay at 6 a.m. Young MC talked about the mysterious killing of his mother. Howard kept hounding young MC as to the involvement of his father in the death of Young MC's mother. Young MC has a new CD out, and he stayed on the show for about 45 minutes. He played the "homeless" game with Howard, Robin, and the gang.

A pair of Germans who saw Howard's movie called in. Howard grilled them about Hitler. The German girl (Siebel) called to see if Howard could give her an orgasm over the phone. Howard found her to be very annoying and asked her if she was on her period. Olf (the German guy) revealed that he was a Jew. Apparently these two have a show in Germany. Howard told Robin that they should act like Olf and Siebel.

Howard then read a series of reviews of his movie "Private Parts."

A few words about the rally- it will be held of Friday Aug. 15 in front of the Eagle Studios in Dallas from 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. I will be arriving in Dallas on the 13th, and I expect a big crowd of Stern show supporters on the 15th. There is a hot line in Dallas- 214-322-0157. It is important that all Dallas fans of the show come to this rally on the Aug. 15. Dallas fans should not be depressed about things. There is a lot of behind-the-scenes- stuff going on in Dallas which I prefer not to discuss at this time.

As the show entered the 7 o'clock hour, Howard discussed the Czech film festival and the award that it conferred on "Private Parts."

I will be calling into the show on Friday to discuss the upcoming rally in Dallas. Stay tuned to the details on melroselarry.com. and all of you should check out my pictures on "Larry's Pixs." Don't forget Le Shop on Melrose, if you want to order my book, poster, etc. As always, a shoutout to my partner in cyberspace Cross Country Karl. See you on Melrose Ave, where I am off to hold up signs.

Howard revealed that he will be filming the Melanie Griffith movie in a couple of weeks. Chaz Palminteri and Randy Quaid are in the movie, as is David Spade.

Melrose